Another First
by KeepSaying
Summary: One- Shot plays after Fifty Shades of Grey and before Fifty Shades Darker. How Christian deals with Ana leaving. Christian's POV.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. The dream, the card and the e-mail are taken from "Fifty Shades Darker".**

**Hey everyone! :) **

**I got obsessed with the Fifty Shades Trilogy after reading the first book and now this is my first One- Shot on these perfect books. I hope you'll like it and there might be some mistakes because English is not my mother tongue. I hope this ended up being at least okay because I don't wanna ruin the Trilogy for you. **

**Laters. xo**

**Another First**

"He's come back. Mommy's asleep or she's sick again.

I hide and curl up small under the table in the kitchen. Through my fingers I can see Mommy. She is asleep on the couch. Her hand is on the stick green rug, and he's wearing his big boots with the shiny buckle and standing over Mommy shouting.

He hits Mommy with a belt. _Get up! Get up! You are one fucked-up bitch. You are one fucked-up bitch. You are one fucked-up bitch. You are one fucked-up bitch. You are one fucked-up bitch._

Mommy makes a sobbing noise. _Stop. Please stop. _Mommy doesn't scream. Mommy curls up small.

I have my fingers in my ears, and close my eyes. The sound stops.

He turns and I can see his boots as he stomps into the kitchen. He still has the belt. He is trying to find me.

He stoops down and grins. He smells nasty. Of cigarettes and drink. _There you are, you little shit."_

**Christian wakes up as **he hears a voice scream. Immediately he sits bolt upright in bed. His forehead is sweaty but the only thing he can think of is his dream. _Christ!_ That was his voice. They are back. The dreams he didn't have since Ana slept with him, in his bed, in his arms. Ana. Anastasia. Anastasia Steele. _His Ana_. He gulps and shakes his head. He can't think of her. Not again. But he isn't able to put her out of his head. She's always there.

_Fuck!_ He is still shaking. His whole body doesn't listen to him. He isn't in control over himself. This thought scares him even more. He has to be in control. He has to know what exactly goes on, when it happens and why it happens. The only exception is Ana. _Ana. His Ana._

He feels the tears that want to fall but he doesn't let them. He does not cry. Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings isn't the man for tears. Tears would mean he had a heart. But he doesn't. But right now this heart he doesn't have hurts like hell. _Christ! This isn't normal._

Finally he can control his motions again and gets up. He can't stay here. The bed still smells like her. It's like she just got up to get a drink maybe. Or went to the toilet. Only that her side of the bed is cold. Maybe… Maybe she's in the bathroom.

Very slowly he walks through the room and into the bathroom. It's dark. And empty. No one is here. And it hurts even though he hadn't expected anything else. Maybe the kitchen… ?

He knows that this hope will only bring him more pain. More feelings he can't handle. But he has to check.

Without putting on a T- Shirt he practically runs to the kitchen. He turns on the light. No. No one's here either. Everything's clean. And empty. He goes around the kitchen isle and to the fridge. He gets a glass and pours himself a glass white wine. His favorite.

As he takes two gulps he wanders to the front door and leans against the column. Maybe she will come back. Maybe she will come back to him. Maybe she misses him like he misses her. Maybe…

_Fuck!_ What is happening to him? What did this woman do to him? This beautiful woman that doesn't obey and challenges him. This fascinating woman he's had for a short time._ That was his. Only his. _

Slowly he sits down on the cold floor. Still only in his pyjama bottoms. He helds the glass tightly. Maybe a little too tightly. He doesn't care.

He feels lost. He feels left alone. He feels broken. He feels so many things he doesn't normally feel. Because right now he's not in control. She is. And she doesn't even know it. She doesn't know what she does to him. She left him. _His sweet Ana. _He scared her away. _Christ! Why did he do that?_ Why did he whip her? _Because she begged him to. _Yes, she did. He didn't go gently on her because she wanted to know. She's too curious for her own good. And now he's lost her. He will never do that again. If he gets to hold her one more time, that is.

He is mad. So mad. Mad at himself. At her. He's mad at everyone. But his anger is nothing compared to the pain he feels.

He closes his eyes and leans his head back. It's the position he always ends up at nowadays. For 4 nights in total now. He can't sleep. It's like before Ana came into his life. Only that he now knows what he misses. Now he knows that there's the possibility of sleeping through the night.

Sighing he puts down his glass of wine and draws up his knees to lay his head on them. He is so tired. Yet he can't sleep. His thoughts revolve around Anastasia Steele. And soon he falls asleep thinking of better times. Thinking about what he has lost. And he promise himself that he will do everything in his power to get it back. To get her back.

"**Mr. Grey?" Christian wakes** up when Mrs. Jones stands in front of him, calling him by his name, asking him if he's well. He nods and gets up from the floor. His back hurts. But he has a goal for today. He wants her back. He will fight for her. He will propose another contract. Something she can agree to. Something that includes more.

"I will make breakfast now, Mr. Grey. Anything special you want to eat?" Mrs. Jones asks and he shakes his head.

Taylor appears and greats him good morning. "Dr. Flynn called", he tells him, "He wants to accelerate your appointment to 1p.m. today." He examines his personal security man shortly then nods. "I'll call him back."

**Christian walks to his bedroom** and puts on his clothes. He doesn't need long. When he's finished his breakfast he leaves the kitchen for his study. He has to talk to John about the appointment and he has to type something. Before he enters the room he turns to Taylor.  
"Get me flowers. White roses, preferably." Taylor only frowns shortly then nods in understanding. "How many shall I get?" He thinks about it for a second. What would be a good number? He doesn't know. He's not the guy for heart and flowers. Not normally, anyway. But he'll try for her. "Make it two dozen." He says eventually and enters his study.

"Christian." John greets him when he answers his phone at the second ring. "I take it Taylor told you I called?"

"Indeed, he did." "Is there a problem with the new time or why are you calling?" He doesn't know what to say exactly. But he should be honest with his shrink. "I have a meeting at 12, actually, so 1.30p.m. would be better. But I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay, that's set then. What do you want to talk about?" He takes a deep breath. "I'm going to fight for Ana." And obviously this takes the doctor by surprise. "You are?" Is his incredulous reply and it would've amused Christian if the topic wasn't so serious. "Yes, I am. I thought I told you before our meeting. Give you time to think about it because I have no idea what this means."

"I will, Christian. This is good. We'll talk later." – "Bye." He says ending the call.

Slowly he walks over to his desk, his eyes lingering on the glider for a moment. He found it after Ana left. It took him a day to finally being able to look at it and two days to eventually build it. He remembers what he said the first time they talked. In the interview. _I like to build things. I like to know how things work: what makes things tick, how to construct and deconstruct. _She remembered.

He turns on his Mac and stares at its screen for long 5 minutes. Then he begins to type.

_Congratulations on your first day at work._

_I hope it went well._

He pauses for a moment and re-reads the two lines he just wrote. Good, so far. Again he finds himself looking at the glider and continues.

_And thank you for the glider. That was very thoughtful._

_It has pride of place on my desk._

_Christian_

Yes, that's okay. He frowns. What if she rejects him? What if she never wants to talk to him again? What if… What if she left for good? Could he deal with that? No. No, he couldn't. _Christ! What the hell did this woman do to him? _Shaking his head slightly he prints his words.

"**Mr. Grey." He turns around** and Taylor is standing in the room. Two dozen white roses in his hands. He nods towards him and turns around to shrug on his jacket then he takes the card he just printed and his briefcase. "I'll go to work now. Tell Luke to send those to Ms. Steele. My appointment with Dr. Flynn is at 1.30p.m."

Taylor nods and turns to find Luke and he takes a deep breath once more. Sending flowers. _That's so different to what I normally do. _But he shrugs the thought off. She is different. And she deserves to be treated differently.

And so he heads to work.

**The hours pass by slower** than usual but then again that's been almost normal for 5 days now. He works on his desk. He goes to meetings. Everything's good. But he's missing Ana's e- mails. It's always been always a nice interruption. When he glances on his watch it's 1.15p.m.

"Andrea" He calls for his employee and she appears in his room. "Work through the stuff that's on my desk and tell Ros to concentrate hard on what she's doing. It's important. I'll be back around 2." Andrea nods and exits the room without saying a word.

He doesn't need long to Dr. Flynn but he likes being there early. It leaves him time to react on things that may occur all of the sudden. It gives him control.

**"Hello Mr. Grey." Flynn's assistant** greats him politely and he gives her a small smile. She blushes but he doesn't care. The only woman he wants to see blush is Anastasia. _But only when she blushes because of him. _ "Dr. Flynn is alone you can go in." He nods curtly and enters the room he knows oh-so-well already.

He sits down in the sitting area and Dr. Flynn walks towards him as soon as he sees him.

"Christian." He smiles amicably.

"John." He shakes his hand and Flynn waits until he sits down as well before he begins to talk.

"You told me you're going to fight for Ana", he begins, "And I must say, I didn't expect it. Or maybe I did. I just thought you needed more time to say so yourself. What made you want to fight for her?"

"I can't live without her", Christian explains matter-of-factly, "I woke up last night, again. I had one of my nightmares, again. And I waited for her to come back, again. I realized… She won't come back to me if I don't fight for her." He studies the facial expression of his doctor closely.

Dr. Flynn smiles brightly. It's obvious he didn't expect his decision but approves of it very much. There's only a small frown on his face. "It's amazing how Anastasia obviously kept away those nightmares. Fascinating, indeed. And I am glad you decided to fight. You never fought for a girl, did you?"

He shakes his head slowly. "I never had to. Either they agree for 3 months or I forget about them. I usually don't care."

His doctor nods. "That's great. It really is. The change you went through is pretty huge. It's unfamiliar for you and that's why it always scared you. But you care for Ms. Steele for quite a while now. She's been the first exception. She's good for you. So, I approve of your decision."

"Good. Now… I thought about proposing another contract. One that's all for the 'more' she wanted…"

Flynn frowns. "I get that you need the contract for control. And as long as she gets it too I think you're safe. Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes. Thank you, John." He nods slightly and smiles. It's almost a happy smile.

"It's my job, Christian. And you're made great progress in the last few weeks. You should thank Ms. Steele for that when you next talk to her. I will thank her when or if you introduce me to her."

"Good bye, John." – "Good bye, Christian. Good luck."

**As soon as he arrives** in his office Andrea hands him the papers she's been working on. "Ros handled the project well; she's currently talking to Mrs. Hover. She'll talk to you when she finished there."

"Okay, I'll talk to her then. Did Barney call?" He wants to know, trying to concentrate his thoughts on work.

Andrea shakes her head no. "But the Taiwanese wanted to talk to you."

"I'll call them back. Thank you, Andrea."

"You're welcome, Mr. Grey." And on that note she leaves his room again.

For a second he closes his eyes and wishes that Anastasia is here. For a moment she wishes that there isn't this hole in his chest. He wishes that she takes the pain away he's feeling at the moment. But he knows he has to fight for that to happen. And that's what he's doing to do. He turns on his computer and starts typing an e-mail. The flowers should be delivered by now.

* * *

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Tomorrow

**Date: **June 8 2011 14:05

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Forgive this intrusion at work. I hope that it's going well. Did you get my flowers?

I note that tomorrow is the gallery opening for your friend's show, and I'm sure you've not had time to purchase a car, and it's a long drive. I would be more than happy to take you – should you wish.

Let me know.

__

Christian Grey

_CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc._

When he's finished he quickly presses _Send_ so he can't go back on it. That's only the beginning. This e-mail and the flowers he already sent. He's going to fight for this woman who defies him and has him wrapped around her little finger. A small smile appears on his lips as he thinks of Anastasia Steele. _His Ana._

And then it dawns on him. He's fighting for her. That's yet another first.

~.~.~

**Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated. :')**

**Love, Josi.**


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